Use the swap bank after drafting, not during the first five minutes
Children often lose momentum if they stop to hunt for better words while they are still trying to get ideas down. Write first. Upgrade second.
A simple editing order
- Circle the repeated weak words in one paragraph.
- Choose only the ones that make the scene feel flat.
- Swap those words and read the sentence aloud before keeping the change.
If you want to see a full edited story after this, compare your child's work with the before-and-after upgraded story and the 11+ exam-technique writing hub.
10 movement swaps
- went -> dashed when the movement is quick and urgent
- went -> trudged when the character is tired or gloomy
- went -> crept when the movement is quiet or cautious
- went -> edged when the character moves carefully along something
- went -> strode when the movement is confident and purposeful
- ran -> bolted when fear or panic is driving the speed
- walked -> shuffled when the character feels reluctant or embarrassed
- walked -> wandered when there is no hurry or fixed plan
- came -> hurried over when someone moves quickly towards another person
- turned -> spun when the reaction is sudden
10 looking and noticing swaps
- looked -> glanced for a quick look
- looked -> peered when the character is trying to see carefully
- looked -> stared for a long, fixed look
- looked -> scanned when searching an area
- looked -> squinted when light or distance makes seeing harder
- saw -> spotted for something noticed suddenly
- heard -> caught for a small sound or half-heard phrase
- heard -> noticed when the sound matters more than the volume
- watched -> tracked when following movement closely
- looked around -> searched the room when the character is actively hunting for something
10 speech swaps
- said -> whispered for quiet speech
- said -> muttered when the words are low or unclear
- said -> snapped for irritation
- said -> replied for a neutral answer
- said -> insisted when the speaker will not back down
- said -> admitted when the truth is reluctantly given
- said -> warned when danger or urgency matters
- said -> blurted when the words come out too quickly
- said -> sighed when the tone matters more than the exact volume
- said -> murmured for soft, calm speech
10 feeling and reaction swaps
- was scared -> froze when the body reacts before the mind does
- was scared -> flinched when something sudden causes fear
- was nervous -> hesitated when the character cannot commit straight away
- was worried -> kept glancing when the fear shows in repeated checking
- was sad -> slumped when the body language shows disappointment
- was excited -> grinned when the reaction is openly positive
- was angry -> clenched his jaw when anger is controlled rather than shouted
- was surprised -> blinked at the screen when the moment needs a small visible clue
- was relieved -> let out a breath when tension is finally released
- was embarrassed -> looked at her shoes when the character wants to disappear from attention
10 setting and object-detail swaps
- big -> towering for something physically looming overhead
- small -> cramped for a place that feels tight rather than just tiny
- old -> battered for an object that shows wear and damage
- messy -> cluttered for a space filled with too many things
- dark -> dim when there is still some weak light present
- bright -> glaring when the light is harsh
- wet -> slick when the surface feels slippery
- sharp -> jagged when the edge looks broken or dangerous
- busy -> crowded when people are packed together
- empty -> deserted when the emptiness adds atmosphere
Worked example: upgrading one draft without overdoing it
Before
I went down the big corridor and looked at the door. "Come in," the teacher said. I was scared and I walked in slowly.
After
I edged down the dim corridor and stared at the office door. "Come in," the teacher murmured from inside. I froze for a second, then crept over the threshold.
Why this edit works
- Only a few words changed, but the movement and mood became clearer.
- The new words all fit the same quiet, nervous scene.
- Nothing sounds like a random thesaurus choice.
Practice task: the 10-minute upgrade hunt
- 2 minutes: circle five repeated weak words in one paragraph.
- 4 minutes: choose three to five replacements from the bank.
- 2 minutes: read the new paragraph aloud.
- 2 minutes: keep only the swaps that sound natural.
What parents should mark first
- Does each swap fit the exact scene?
- Did the meaning stay clear?
- Did the paragraph improve without becoming overloaded?
If you want a bigger picture of how these small edits add up, open the full upgraded-story example or browse the vocabulary hub.
FAQs for parents and tutors
Should children memorise all 50 swaps?
No. Treat the list as an editing bank, not a memory test. A child only needs a few swaps they can use naturally.
How many swaps should we make in one paragraph?
Usually three to five strong changes in one paragraph are enough. More than that can start to sound forced.
Can simple words stay in the draft?
Yes. Keep any simple word that already fits the scene. Only swap the repeated or weak ones.
What if the new word sounds strange when read aloud?
Choose a different swap. If the line sounds unnatural out loud, it probably is not the right replacement.
Keep the idea, improve the word choice
That is usually all a child needs in an editing session. A short, focused pass is more useful than trying to upgrade every line.